...Er, right, sorry. I just noticed that on blogger. Fun times ahead. Let's get down to business.
It's Three frikkin' AM when I finally get to this, and we went last Thursday.
ANYWAYS! BECKERS WILL NOW WRITE ABOUT NORTHERN BAYS SANDS [WIKIPEDIA!] AND ITS AWESOME NORTHERN SANDS LOCATED IN A BAY OF AWESOME NESS!
...Never again -_-;;
Basically, it went like this;
"Pack your bags, we're heading for Toky---I mean, Northern Bay Sands!!"
"SWEET! We're going on vacation!!"
*cue montage*
Ha, I'm awesome.
In reality, though, we left around 11 Am to go pick up Mel, picked up food along the way in the form of a chocolate Ice Cap, a Cinnamon Roll, and a croissant fer Melaners (Mom already ate). About halfway up the parkway, you know you're at a good start when you forget the freakin' map. I'm not blaming anyone, since my stupid gene was inherited from both sides of the family so I was doomed from the beginning. Dad's a little more dunce than Mom, but they're generally both smrt people, it's just I got all the stoopid. I'M AWESOME *shotkilledbyparents*
...MUST. STOP. RAMBLING, DAMMIT!
So, we got Melaners and her boogie/booger/mucus board, and after a chat with Mel; ("Hi Mel.""Hi Beck--""Shaddap, I'm playing Pokemon"), I occupied my time with playing Pokemans. Next thing I know, we're at the Ultramar getting ice for the cooler.
"Dude, what about the map?"
"We stopped at your house to pick it up, remember?"
"...No."
"Get your face outta Pokemon, stupid!"
"NEVAH!"
This car trip is only going to get more entertaining, so stay tuned.
So, off we go. Myself and Mel in the backseat in charge of the map, and Mom in front driving because shes:
- The only person with a license.
- The only one who can drive standard
- The only mildly sane person
- I'm the only other one who can drive ANYTHING, and my attention span is the shits.
...Best. Brutal Murders. Ever.
So we continue down the highway, Mel claiming that her father is actually Sasquatch(Bigfoot if yer not Canadian), which is entirely believable because of the sheer hairiness of the man. Mom Said that our exit was probably coming up soon, so to look at the map to see what it was.
So I look the map (heaven forbid I let Mel, because her navigation history isn't as good as mine...and mine's solely built on 'the 'Guess and Check' principle, then again I was mildly hogging the map. ONLY MILDLY!), and the best exit to take would be Route 70.
...We've gone past it.
Allrighty then...next best thing is Route 71, which takes us through a dirt road for a little while, but later connects with Route 75, then route 70.
View Larger Map
Problem solved, ne?
...
WRONG!!!!!!
Gah! This is proof nobody listens to Beckers!! Just because it's a dirt road doesn't mean we're lost!! Hell, in my Bathroom Reader it says that there's a 75% chance that a public road in Canada ain't gunna be paved! Thats, like, big!
Ugh...
So, I managed to convince them to keep going. And, hey, guess what happens!!
BECKERS WAS FLIPPIN' RIGHT!
...
Yes I totally rubbed it in.
...And if you thought that was the last of our navigating problems, you're chasin' the dragon right about now.
What to know what's to blame for this one??
TROPICAL DEATH STORM CHANTAL
YES YOU HEARD ME/READ THIS!!!
...And also maybe the fact that our map is from around '93 or something like that ^.^;;
Moving on. If you read that article, you'd notice that a bridge in Spaniard's Bay was out. I failed to remember this, and the original way out (following the shitmap), took us across that bridge.
...
No this doesn't end well.
So there's a detour. Did I fail to mention this doesn't end well? No? Well, the hell with it. It doesn't end well at all.
This detour is vaguely marked (BUY SPRAY PAINT FOOLS), with just an arrow on a sign.
...It took us long enough to find the only road that went in that general direction (Newfoundland community planning is the shits). We go down that road...
....and down...
and down...
"...This is the worst frikkin' detour ever."
"Beckers, I'm scared."
"Why?"
"I agree."
"....OHSWEETJEBUSITSASIGNOFTHEAPOCOLYPSE"
haha, Jebus.
So we finally find th new highway or whatever, and we get to the turnoff that heads straight by Harbour Grace and Carbonear, which are right on the way to Northern Bay Sands.
I never even knew that this highway existed. (Our map sucks balls, remember?).
...Mom goes right past it when It's obvious that I'm yelling my facking guts out for her to turn left.
...If only we hadn't missed that very first exit...
So then, we end up going back into Bay fackin' Roberts.
"I feel like we're going in circles..."
"MOM! WE ARE GOING IN CIRCLES!"
Yes, I had lost my patience by this point. It was like Toronto all over again...
...NO I WONT GO THAR : O
So, we end up yelling at each other. Well, just me and Mom. Mel just prayed for her well-being. I don't blame her. We're loud enough without yelling! : D
Er, righteo. Somehow, we managed not to murder each other. We came close. Poor Mel. She's traumatized for life, now.
We made it back on the second run through, and got onto the highway, a.k.a Route 70 those looking at Google Maps.
...Ha, Routes, that kind of reminds me of Pokemon.
So, eventually, we made it. Sanity hanging by a thread.
Now, you see, that day when we had left, it was gunna be around 14 degrees there.
It was definitely warmer. Which was weird, since we're next to the ocean, and further north...
And this is the freaking NORTH ATLANTIC! I mean, Labrador Current kills us. Water's flippin' FREEZING in July. This was August, so it's tolerable.
..It's not that bad, really. It's nice on really, really, hot days. Like a cold shower except salty!
...
EWwwww...
Anyways, BAM! Before you could recite the Tales of Symphonia prolouge we were GAWN.
...So that's fast...ish...
Mom doesn't like swimming in the ocean (make your own joke if you know anything about her background ;P), so she seemed plenty thrilled to kick back and read.
...Must...Finish...blogpost...ahhhhhhh!!!
Okay, I'm good. Nah, really, I'm good.
I've been writing this for an hour and a half now. CANT STOP.
At northern Bays sands, there's a river and waterfall on the far side of the beach from where you come in.
MAI MAP OF AWESOME
Err...Anyways.
As you can see, to get to the river, you have to go through the ocean because it was high tide. Or rising sea levels because the polar ice caps are melting because of global warming. Whatever floats yer boat.
And the ocean (LABRADOR CURRENT!) was freezing the first time.
...Freaking, freezing.
...
Well, we went in the river fer a little bit. We got bored and went into the ocean (COLD COLD COLD...okay, legs are numb, I'm good), and were SUPER AWESOME.
But the waves weren't very big (and Mel sucks at boogerboard. I helped her get the timing at first, since that's hard), so we got bored after a while. Went back in the river, got bored of that even faster, so we decided to go to the capsules' big brother up stream.
...It was...so nice...
You can swim right up and get under the waterfall and its like getting a massage. So...awesome...
Mel wanted to go further down. Thats a no-no in Beckers' book.
Why must Mel convince me to do stuff every single time? Yarrrrg...
We got partway there, and the current was hella strong. It was extremely shallow, though, so we just stood up (Mel fell over XD) and walked back into Capsules' big bro.
...Then, surprise surprise, WE GOT HUNGRY.
...Hay, I'm hungry right now...*grabs chips*
Continuing on, We went back to where Mom was (on beach 1)--
You know, before I go any further. I can't walk in flip flops at all. I freaking hate them! DAMN FLIP FLOPS!
...But know what shoes I hate even more?
GATORS! I FREAKIN HATE GATORS
GHEYEST.
SHOES.
EVER.
THEY'RE NOT EVEN SHOES!!
...
And don't you wear them with socks either, evildoers.
Continuing on, we went back. Mom had sammiches, pop, chips, and many other snack foods fer us.
Sammiches freakin rock. Mel. Eat Sammiches. My favorite food. Yes, more than french fries. Damn third grade >.>
So, we had something to eat. Then Mel wanted to be buried.
...We complied.
"BECKARS STOP TICKLING"
"IM NOTZORZ"
...Damn tickling sands, mind of its own, I tells ya.
And after playing in the mud ("THEYRE GUNNA FIND A BECKERSAURS IN A BAZILLION YEARS AFTER THE SUN EXPANDS AND ALIENS VISIT AFTER WE ALL DIE!!...Don't roll your eyes at me, Mel. That's mean."), so began the WAVE BATTLE.
...My imagination is SO BAD ASS!!
Anyways, huge wave came in, and I summoned ROCKS TO COMBAT THE EVIL OCEAN TRYING TO---
*dragged away, sounds of someone getting the shit beat out of the are heard. Mel drags Beckers back, covered in DEAAAAAATH*
Melaners: WHAT REALLY HAPPENED, DUMBASS!!!
Beckers: YES M'AM! *salute*
...Okay, okay, I played it up a tad. Shut up inner Melanie. You smell.
Basically, a shitload of huge waves came in, I went all super cool...and Mel joined in, so we created a new SUPERHERO TEAM.
Hence the name of the post.
...And we saved the Beach from being un-awesome.
...While looking like total retards.
...
...
...
...
...
TEENAGE PIRATE NINJA SURFERS!!!
Caffeine is bad for younger minds. Very, very bad.
After we saved the day, we went home.
Mel made bunnies along the way.
...And that was it.
Oh, and I have The Kilbride Rhapshody video up. Just...scroll up. Way up.
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